DECODING "Happily Ever After" // Part 1

Most of our youth we spend time, money and energy on everything that relates to our own appearance: make-up, hairstyle, bodybuilding, clothes, diets. In essence this is not a bad thing. We want to look beautiful and attractive. But, I wonder… how many of us would still put make-up on every morning and wear that sexy, tight dress at events if we lived in a world without men?

Few, quite a few.

It turns out that, apart from studying and building up our own career, our actions revolve around men. We dress up, wear make-up, lose weight primarily in order to capture their attention. If we are complemented by them we feel flattered and we hope for more… a flirt… a date… a relationship… a marriage?  If not, we wonder what we did wrong. Was it my hair? Did I get fat? Am I not pretty enough? Social media has the answer. So we keep posting photos of ourselves and selfies on Instagram and Facebook. The number of likes you get may determine the level of your attractiveness.  You need lots of it in order to attract the guy you want.  But you also get the attention of the unwanted ones and you might probably end up with some stalkers, as well.

After a while, you meet this cute guy. You like him. He likes you. Then…  he’s right there, on his knee, slipping a Tiffany diamond ring on your finger after a 7-year relationship, as he had realised that, after all this time, you might probably be the one for him? Or he just gave up hoping for a model to show up in his life. Anyway, you say yes, tears in your eyes, all the thrills of excitement shaking your body after years of wondering “Will he ever propose?”.

That’s it now. You are finally living your own fairy-tale. Now the only thing you need is the perfect wedding with the perfect wedding dress and the perfect honey-moon and you will both live happily-ever-after, joined in Holy Matrimony, for better and for worse. 

Although, when worse comes in, there’s a quicker fix: divorce. 

There are lots of happy marriages out there but as I want to make a point I will follow a common scenario.  So, a year later you give birth to his child. The pregnancy was exhausting and you put on lots of weight. You have to go on diets as exercising takes time and you have a baby now. You also need to do laundry and cook a delicious meal for your husband for when he returns from his 9 to 5 job. He’s very tired from spending all those hours sitting in a front of a computer while you had to deal only with cleaning the house, feeding the baby, cook, walk the dog and send your boss the reviews he had asked for. Because, you’re a career woman and you will continue working from home until the child gets older. 

By now, you already realised you stopped wearing make-up and your choice of clothing is way below average and you haven’t exercised in months but… who cares? You’re a fully accomplished woman, with a wonderful family and a career which provides your own income. It is all you dreamed of.

But your husband starts picking up fights with you. He is annoyed by everything. After a few months he finally admits to having an affair. He wants a divorce. Before you know it, your marriage ends. All your past efforts were in vain. You’re single again, an overweight, plain, exhausted woman, with health issues from all the diets and the stress throughout the years, raising by yourself a 15-year old girl who starts to be interested in fashion, make-up, boys and sex. You can almost predict her fate. Because she might even end up as a divorced woman, as well, doing what you did and the tragedy is, you don’t even know what you did wrong.  Although you have the slight idea that your attractiveness level decreased and this is why he stopped loving you.

The truth is, you did nothing wrong. And if we are to search for the root of all problems, we have to trace it back to our infancy, to our first “and they lived happily ever after’ type of story our mothers used to put us to sleep with.  

But who could imagine a childhood without stories with princes and princesses and happy-endings? I, cannot, personally answer that because I grew up with all the stories possible, Disney movies and animes, from when I was one. And at this age, one’s brain is literally a sponge, absorbing everything.

So are we truly brain-washed with fairy-tales, twisted modern sweet versions of adult allegories involving rape, incest, torture, cannibalism and other hideous occurrences?

For example, the story of “Beauty and the Beast” speaks about inner beauty. Or this is how most of us human beings are programmed to understand it.

From an alien’s detached point of view, this tale shows how a submissive female protagonist is held under house arrest by a hideous, insensitive, alpha-male character. It was pointed out that this traditional tale was specifically intended for the preparation of young girls in 18th century France for arranged marriages. Unfortunately, divorces were not allowed back then and the young wife had either to settle with her old, oppressive and abusive husband or develop Stockholm syndrome that could make her life easier.

In other fairy-tales like “Sleeping Beauty” or “Snow White”, blood references, curses and the resurrecting kiss from the prince symbolise menstruation, losing virginity and sexual awakening.

On the whole, there’s not so much philosophy out there: these stories were conceived mostly for girls in order to prepare their subconscious mind for sexual arousal in men through beauty and attractive bodies, reproduction and the role of a obedient wife, the only purposes of a woman in society, since forever... ?!?! No wonder the feminists went crazy.

So...is happily-ever-after the desirable bonus mankind was promised in order for it to continue buying the main product called “family” which targeted financial alliances, population-growth and the expansion of nations?

We will find out in the second part of “ DECODING Happily Ever After”.